Childless in the Workplace: Office Culture

home (such as "Where's the peanut butter?" or "Kim's picking on me!"); morning sickness and pre-

natal doctor's appointments cause expectant mothers to miss a lot of work, even before the baby is 

born; overtime -- non-parents are often told to work overtime (often for no additional pay or other 

compensation), while parents are allowed to go home to their families; weekend and holiday work, 

as well as the less desirable shifts, are often assigned to childfrees, as is work that requires travel; 

childburdened workers often arrive late, leave early and are absent from work due to the kids, yet 

they make the same pay as those who put in a full day's work; flextime is often offered to 

childburdened workers, while childfree workers are held to a rigid schedule; when the childcare 

provider (the stranger being paid to raise someone else's kids) can't take the kid(s), parents often

bring the kid(s) to work, which is distracting and dangerous -- productivity plummets because it's 

hard to concentrate on business when a toddler is rearranging your files, pouring your coffee into 

your keyboard, or screeching in the background, and adult workplaces are unsafe for little children

because of sharp corners on furniture, doors that squish little fingers, heavy machines that can be 

pulled down on little heads, and stairs to fall down, and what toddler isn't curious to discover 

whether the yellow push pins on the bulletin board taste different from the red ones (and let's not 

forget about insurance liability!)?; on-site daycare and lactation rooms -- everyone pays for it, a 

few benefit from it; health insurance premiums are usually not proportional to usage -- in many 

cases, a couple with no kids pays the same as a couple with ten kids (and some companies pay for 

fertility treatments, prenatal services, delivery, pediatric services, etc., while refusing to pay for 

birth control or sterilization operations); parental leave -- while a parent is home with baby, 

childfrees must pick up the slack (often for no compensation or equivalent benefit); people pay 

property taxes based on the value of their property, not on the amount of public services -- water, 

garbage pickup, sewage treatment, etc. -- they receive, yet large families get much more service for

their money; non-parents subsidize parents when "kids fly free," "kids stay free," and "kids eat 

free;" and, in Canada, babysitting, daycare, summer & day camp, and sports school are all tax 

deductible, and clothing for children is tax-exempt (many parents cheat the system by claiming that

clothing for themselves is for their children and therefore tax-free). All of this simply means that 

every taxpayer who can't claim those deductions subsidizes those who do.

Why are we expected to do more because someone else has chosen to do too much?

I've heard some childburdened workers complain that they aren't promoted as quickly as other 

workers. Well, imagine you decided to take a 50-lap pit stop at the Indy 500. Could you rightfully 

complain that you didn't win the race? You consciously took six months, or eight months, or a year 

off. Everyone else was working and gaining work experience while you were away. And when you 

come back, time has to be spent to get you up to speed, as well.

Many employers (and co-workers) think that childfree workers don't have families. We do have 

families. We have mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, boyfriends and 

girlfriends, and we have lots of other people and pets who are important in our lives.

Janet had to work Thanksgiving for a co-worker with kids. She also observed that childburdened 

co-workers often arrived late and left early. Eric had to do all the raveling when his co-worker got 

pregnant. Melody is an American Sign Language interpreter who discovered that childfrees are 

assigned the early morning jobs because parents arrive too late to get to their assignments on time, 

and evening emergencies because childburdened workers wanted to be home with their families. 

Carol, a nurse, is constantly assigned the contagion cases, because pregnant co-workers, and those 

with kids, don't want to risk getting sick. Kaye was feeling extremely stressed at work, and asked if

she could work less and job-share (for a reduction in pay, of course). She was told that the only 

way she could job-share was by getting pregnant and having a baby. Such a policy discriminates 

against men, and women who don't get pregnant. Keith, of our Rochester, NY chapter told me, 

"I've frequently had the responsibility to hire/fire people, and have been 'encouraged' to dismiss 

other white, male, or childless people because 'They can find another job easier, and it's not as 

though they have a family to support.' When I needed to fire someone who was literally sleeping at

their desk and often playing computer solitaire instead of working, I was told by my boss I was 

prohibited from dismissing them... Why? 'Because we need to maintain a 50% minority quota, and 

besides, that person has several children to support...'"

All of the above would be less upsetting if the childfree were subsidized as much as those who 

chose to have children, and were given equivalent perks in taxation and in the workplace. People 

shouldn't be bribed to create more consuming polluters, and compensation should be based on 

qualifications and job performance, not on the number of children one has produced.

All of the above turn parents into a privileged class of employee and citizen.

I didn't force them to have children, so why should I be forced to pay for them?

Childburdened workers are often given preferential 

treatment over childfree workers: vacation date 

selection -- parents are often given first dibs so they 

can be with their families, non-parents are often left the

 dregs; meetings -- parents are often allowed to arrive 

late, leave early or skip meetings altogether, while 

childfree workers are expected to be there on time, and 

stay to the end; during meetings, parents are often 

distracted, and meetings are disrupted, by "crises" at 

“[I’ve] been 'encouraged' to dismiss . . . childless people because 'They can find another job easier, and it's not as though they have a family to support.'”

Keith, Rochester, NY

As mentioned elsewhere, benefits equality operates alongside another element of workplace equality: office culture.  Mimicking society, many companies have adopted the philosophy that ‘family-friendly’ policies are vital.  This extends not just to overt benefits, but to the prevalent assumption that the needs of parents are paramount when it comes to scheduling.

In the essay below, Jerry Steinberg discusses the real-life experiences of childless people in current office culture. As head of the world’s largest organization of childless people, Mr. Steinberg has been listening to the tales of childfree people for nearly 25 years.

I have chosen in the project not to tackle this culture just yet - with the perception that changing a culture is a much less surmountable task.  However, the inequality is quite relevant to the discourse here.  When childless persons are indeed working longer hours based on assumptions that their needs are less worthy, the problem is exacerbated: they are working harder for less pay. This highlights the interest of employers in attracting and retaining  childfree workers and emphasizes the point that the inequality stems from invisibility or even antagonism.

Lastly, the primary method for obtaining pay equality - sheer recognition - is also the best means of achieving cultural equality.  Only when people realize that children are optional and that the childless worker feels slighted can they begin to reconsider their assumption that only the needs and commitments of parents are worth accommodating and subsidizing.

These policies “turn parents into a privileged class of employee and citizen.”

Jerry Steinberg

A note on terminology -

Some might have noticed the use of varying terms for people with children and without.  Many people who have opted not to have children use the term ‘childfree’,  since  the term ‘childless’ carries an implication that something is missing. I use the term to denote those who are childless by choice—as a means of distinguishing the traditional use of the term childless to apply to those who are infertile.

Throughout much of this website, I use the term childless as a catch-all, since those who are involuntarily childless are just as hurt by these policies.

Although some might be offended by Mr. Steinberg’s use of the term ‘child-burdened’, you might instead see it as a cheeky response to the negative implications of the term childless.

As one reader, Chris, pointed out, this disparity isn’t a negative for all childless employees. For those who receive overtime pay, it can actually be a boon!  When parents have to spend evenings and weekends with their children, the childless benefit from the extra hours and holiday overtime pay. 

Still, it would be nice if the childless were still afforded a choice—some would prefer the time off or time with their families to the money.  In terms of the workplace itself, parents have a greater choice between the two (but not when it comes to their personal lives, which often makes that choice for them) when their outside commitments are given more respect.

Regardless, the disparity still applies to those salaried workers who do not receive overtime pay.

Childfree Issues : Cafeteria Plans

Equal Pay  for Equal Work